Content warnings: addiction, constant self blame
Based on a true story.
Long post warning.
day 17:
I didn't consume any [raunchy show] content at all today. Yippee!
day 18:
Got a bit carried away by watching and doing unrelated stuff but still doing well.
↑Reward: A sense of achievement that makes you feel all giddy inside
day 19:
I decided to consume a bit of [raunchy show] content during breaks. And honestly, I think I should do this from now on. Not only does it satisfy my hunger for [raunchy show] stuff, but it also prevents me from getting too carried away. From now on (by which I mean during the exams), I'll consume [raunchy show] only on breaks.
↑Reward: A sense of achievement that makes you feel all giddy inside
day 20:
Goddamnit...I gave in to temptation again. I could've done the test early but...
Honestly, it isn't even [raunchy show]'s fault — it's MINE. I feel like I have an addiction problem.
↑Reward: A sense of achievement that makes you feel all giddy inside
---TEST ENDS---
Looking back:
You know what? I learned something today. I learned that you should study as early as possible and not give yourself in to addiction (I'm looking at you [raunchy show]).
During the past two weeks, I've:
• Wasted 30+ hours on [raunchy show] content
• Missed 14 study sessions
• I didn't even study on [certain date]!
• If you feel like you didn't get a good grade on any of the subjects...Well, you know why.
Maybe study like, 4 weeks before the exam? 4 weeks should be enough. Or maybe as soon as the school issues a notice about the exams.
Also, make the learning curve AFTER you've done the practice exams. So that you would know what to study first.
[EDIT:] Okay so you don't HAVE to create a practice exam before you create another study schedule. You can just look at your exam scores and create from there.
---INTERLUDE---
***No [raunchy show] eps or content during the exam period.
Study for 25 mins, rest for 5 mins
Emi: Don't slack off this time.
---END INTERLUDE---
day 3:
• I have failed you, Emi.... I slacked off.
• Man, I seriously underestimate how easily I get
addicted to stuff.
• From now on, I'll study the moment I finish breakfast. Otherwise, i won't finish stuff....
• Of course, this can only apply to weekends.
day 7:
• Wow, that perfect 3 day streak was just too good to be true...
• Is there a way you could block websites, anyhow? Cause I really need that
day 9:
• I didn't manage to finish it, can you believe that?
day 10:
• OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE THE PREVIOUS EXAM ALL OVER AGAIN
day 13:
• Didn't even have time to finish this.
day 14
• Didn't have the time, again.
Looking back...:
I've completed 4/14 study schedules. Yikes...
What happened to the other ten? Well...
• 90% of the time I was busy (and with a good reason)
• I only procrastinated once
• I went to P*xiv and LOOKED AT CERTAIN 801 ART. I THOUGHT WE WERE SETTLED WITH THIS.
• ↑Man, I sure do love ruining my childhood
• I should set it so that you can't browse that website AT ALL during the exam period.
• And I also looked at Tw*tter
• ↑Again... 801 art.
• ↑No Blue Bird during the exam period, I guess.
Both of their icons are blue, what a coincidence!
Besides those two, I also went to Niconico for some [childhood show] content.
• ↑Again... I also shouldn't visit Niconico during this period.
I've also thought of responding to texts or starting up a new conversation on multiple occasions, but those two things up there got me too immersed. (Sorry, [Teacher Whose Name I Had to Censor Due to Privacy], but now's a bad time to respond to your previous text. I'm thinking of starting a new topic about the test)
I think the only promise I've fulfilled is not looking at [raunchy show] content or eps. Even after the exam's over, I don't think I want to look at it anymore. That's something.
I'm starting to think that the images on the side aren't necessary. Like, there's just no point to them. They don't make you wanna study more. So I'm not gonna put any next time.
I'll put in a how many study schedules I've done counter next time, maybe that'll motivate me more. We can add some medals to it, like gold for 100, silver for 50, copper for 20 or something.
I've noticed a pattern here — if you almost get carried away once, you'll definitely get carried away later. It happened in the last exam, and it happened again here.
---INTERLUDE---
Study for 25 mins, rest for 5 mins. (15 if it's on a school day)
(25 if on summer timetable and weekends)
--
Help Emi get to the goal by completing each day's missions.
--
Each day (except the first) should have at least 2-3
subjects. (Only applies if you have >3 subjects left)
Try not to have 4 or more subjects in one day (unless
you're just doing last-minute revision, in which case,
it's ok!).
--
For missions that don't have an exact time, put a total
time spent in it. (you might get a prize if your total
time spent is high!)
--
List out the amount of time a exercise takes.
(FINAL EXAMS STUFF:
• Get to school as early as possible.
• Get a chair to sit and drink water in.
• Drink water before exam starts.
• Go to bathroom before next exam starts.)
---END INTERLUDE---
19 days before the exam:
day 12:
• Got a bit carried away with watching [Youtuber]'s videos whoops....
day 14:
• NO WHAT'S GOING ON WHY IS THE EXACT SAME SITUATION WHERE I GET CARRIED AWAY HAPPENING BFJDBDJD
day 15:
• Staying very late to do this just because you were watching a Youtuber play [Game] is very bad.
day 16:
• I guess this is what happens when i don't feel a sense of urgency
day 17:
• GAHHHHHH! THAT DOES IT... I'M ONLY PROCRASTINATING DOING OTHER STUFF IN THE MORNING!
day 18:
• Okay... I was actually busy with something non-procrastinated this time... Still 100% my fault for looking at [Series] at night.
day 19:
• Just what is going on? Do I really have to spend a day without using a phone from now on
Reflection:
So. I got worse.
I know it shows that I 'completed' all of them, but some of those sessions aren't even longer than an hour! In fact, most of them are done right before bedtime, making me half ass them.
Thinking back, it would've been better if I didn't went through with some of the sessions. Cause like, the no. 1 enemy of good grades is enough sleep. You don't get enough sleep, you fail, basically. I was just scared of not progressing in the 'game' I set up. Like, I didn't want Emi to stand in the same place for 4 days or sth. In hindsight, I totally could've just let the 'unfinished levels' stay blank and move on to the next one. Maybe I could've changed Emi's expression to reflect on the current situation. E. g. make a sad face when she missed a day.
This time, the number 1 enemy isn't [raunchy show], nor was it Nico Nico (though I wish it was...). Nope. This time, it's YOUTUBE. You can see the decline starting on day 12. I decided to watch a certain Youtuber that day... And the rest is history. On day 14, you can tell that I'm getting frustrated with my procrastinating. And then, on day 20, the half assing starts. It's plain as day that I didn't actually finish it, I just looked at the materials for a bit and called it a day.
Then comes day 24.
Day 24 was my saving grace. From then on, I actually studied the materials. I made a more detailed schedule which clarifies the amount of time you need to spend, what areas you need to study, etc. I finally did it! I finally studied them! I also made a practice exam for history just to boost my scores up.
Just when I thought things were getting better... they didn't.
I only got so-so grades for most, if not all of my grades. The subjects I thought I would get extremely high marks on (like history, and computer) were way lower than I expected.
I felt sad... angry... depressed, even.
Why wasn't I number one?
Well, the answer is simple. I didn't study the right way. I put off most of my sessions till the end of the day, when I need to go to bed. Really, it's a miracle I didn't fail. (at least, not all of them....)
I really shouldn't be mad at the people who DO have higher scores than me. They did (presumably) put in more effort than me, after all. I should be proud of them!
....So, what did I learn?
• I feel like it's too punishing to force myself not to consume any social media at all (even though I loooove spending hours and hours on it once I get the chance). If I study a lot earlier, then I'll have a chance to get a day with nothing to do. Maybe I'll do my social media stuff then.
• Games are a no-go, though.
• The Emi system didn't really work. I think I'll resort to other methods. I considered making consequences like going to the store to buy things to motivate myself. But then that'll require my brother who is probably going away next year.
• ↑Maybe make the consequences housework? 1 missed day = 1 day of housework.
• Obviously I won't go back to drawing pictures related to the exam, it's a waste of time and serves no purpose other than making me feel guilty for even trying to 'motivate' my lazy ass.
• I think I'll put the other study methods to use next time
• Studying in the library
• Studying with Mozart music
• ↑I have to try, right?
• Writing down things that come to you while you study
• Use a different room to study
• ↑I think the library will serve its purpose well in this case
• Study with flash cards
• ↑Digital ones, maybe?
LMAOOOO TWO DAYS ONE DAY 0 Days LEFT AIN'T THAT FUNNY???!!
Anyways...
Waking up early is important
Bread for breakfast
Taking a walk
Write down Y&M ideas
(EDIT):Can do another subject's sess after one subject's sess
sess = session
Reflection time (written 10 days after):
Finally got around to writing this. Lol.
Oh boy... this was a disaster. The only reason I finally started studying was because my brother slapped me awake (okay he didn't actually, but he did tell me my grades won't be good if I don't start studying).
I don't know if it was because of the stress or what, but I felt a lot more focused compared to the previous learning curves. I think the stress made me study the important parts. Plus, I had 'Learning How to Learn'. That doesn't mean I want to study 2 days before the test again. That was awful.
This learning curve is pretty simple compared to the other ones. Well, apart from the very first one, anyways. There's no pictures, and no learning curve image! I planned to get rid of the pictures, but the image was because I was in a rush when I made this. This took a surprising amount of time to make. I kept the colouring tho. I also added some new features — writing my thoughts and amount of time I used after a study session.
I tried to listen to music while studying for the first time. It didn't really distract me, but I feel like it didn't really help me either? Well, it did make me awake when I felt tired. By the way, the songs I used were Mozart (I heard that listening to Mozart makes you smart), Low-fi jazz (I wanted a change of pace), and Cafe de Touhou (same reason as the second one).
I still procrastinated despite this tho. The procrastinating started on the second study session. That's right. It might not be obvious, but the book I was studying made me lose studying time. And it was during the day before the test.
From then on, a lot of sessions started getting cancelled. Reasons being: I had no time. Now, I don't remember what caused me to have no time exactly, but I did write down some of the reasons.
1. I had to go outside. Usually to recycle. Exercise is good for learning, right?
2. speedrunning a book. This was during one day, I think? Even then, there was enough time to finish the day before I started making this thing. Why didn't I use the time I procrastinated to read a book?
3. BOOKWALKER. CURSE YOU BOOKWALKER!!! (started on [certain date]). Results are disastrous. 5 mins???
4. Writing Y&M ideas. I think I was writing about Suneko at the time?
5. My family telling me to eat dinner. Honestly, that's when I should study the flashcards. Also my brother barging into my room.
6. My relatives visiting. They were so loud. Hard to focus on study sessions so I turned the music up, even though Barb's book said not to do that. Better then listening to them anyway. Also had a hard time sleeping thanks to them. If they come again, I'll tell them I sleep early
7. Sorting out DVD covers. Sorry, it was too fun.
Looking back, I think some of them was because I was so focused on studying one subject that i neglected the others.
You can see that some of them are outside influences (my family), but at the same time, you can see that most of them are my fault.
On [certain date], I started to realise I was procrastinating. But I didn't do anything to stop that. Then sessions that only lasted 5 or 0(!) minutes showed up.
So what did I do before I made this thing? Oh nothing, just using Bookwalker, Twitter, YouTube, and Pixiv.
...
GOD DAMNIT I DID IT AGAIN.. It's always the same crap.... I used Twitter a lot. Not worth it to scroll through [801] Twitter's stuff. Bookwalker is especially dangerous during the exams because of the stupid campaigns.
.....That being said, my grades weren't that bad. Of course, I could do better had I studied sooner. Plus, I straight up failed Physics and Chemistry. First time failing a subject....haha. I remember being disappointed when I wasn't top three... But I also remember being satisfied with (most of) my performances during the test.
I spent most if not all of the studying sessions making flash cards. And making flash cards takes a lot of time.
There's quite a lot of time during the holidays. What say we start studying again then?
I decided to make this earlier.
day 2:
I... don't remember if i did this or not. i feel like i didn't. but i don't remember why.
day 5:
Didn't do these for a long time.
day 6:
Bookwalker and Twitter strikes again.
day 10:
starting to think there's no point to this
day 11:
yep. I didn't check out Bookwalker or Pixiv at all, but I did go on YouTube...
day 12:
I went on Pixiv and bookwalker this time. And there's Twitter and YouTube.
day 13:
Cancelled cause it's not the holidays anymore
Reflection (written 10 days after):
Welp. This was completely useless X).
From the very first day, we can already tell that I'm slacking off. Handling paper and Bookwalker? Pretty bad combination. The most 'studying' I did was making flash cards.
Second day: I don't remember anything?? Like, about it. At all. What made me not study?
Third-fifth day: [not at home for a long period of time]. I didn't have any flash cards, nor could I concentrate. On the final day, I managed to review some cards (at least I think I did...)
Sixth day: Now fully slacking off. Gosh. This is embarrassing to look at. Look at how short these explanations are. I didn't even try to study, at all. I bet I was looking at [801] again. Bookwalker, YouTube, and Twitter strike again! Oh and I guess Pixiv as well.
I'm doing a lot better now.
Reflection:
• Oh me oh my... Quite the barren landscape we have here!
• So uh. Yeah. If you couldn't tell by the state of this... It's pretty bad. Honestly, this might be my worst performance thus far. I didn't bother to put in study schedules, I didn't update when i slacked off... It's a huge, jarring difference if you compare the last learning curve to this one. It looks like I gave up halfway through with this one.
• Since there were no schedules to stop me, I basically had more excuses to slack off. And they always end with me delaying my bed time. 23:00? Holy crap. I bascially had to study the day or the morning before the exam. Obviously, I didn't have time to study everything. I always had to stop at 8:30 (if it wasn't [the test] to go to school.
• Naturally, the tests didn't do so well. It kinda spiraled me into several depressive episodes (which means Kanshi hates tests now yayyyy). Stress due to exams is real. This wouldn't have been a big problem if it was [usual tests]. But this is the freaking finals dude. The thing that basically decides how my future's gonna be. Am i gonna end up in a shitty class or a good one? I can only hope that my Eng grades save my ass. Honestly, I'm not sure if ICT will accept me since my math is kinda... Maybe they still will? Ugh but I'm no good at programming. Maybe I'll have to deal with history?
• To be more optimistic, at least I could still do most of the tests with this half assed studying. Well, except for [that one]... OWCH. That was prob the worst offender.
• At least I know about the importance of studying way earlier 1st hand right? Ugh...
• Of course, the usual things that made me procrastinate were: Twitter, Youtube, and Pixiv ([801]). Oh and some video games too. Reddit now made its way in. I also had to deal with a few papers. The impulse stopper didn't work huh... The most surprising thing about this is that Bookwalker wasn't the main offender this time. Guess i don't care much about it anymore. Oh and the same goes for Niconico too, but i literally couldn't use that site even if i wanted to cuz it got hacked or sth and now you can't view the vids anymore. That's a good thing for me.
• Remember when I said i didn't want to wait till the last few days to study anymore? Ahahaha...
• Good thing tests are over cuz now I have all the time I want to slack off. let's just enjoy the moment. I really want to go to the library.
• You can find my test thoughts in that watermelon notebook ((which you do not have access to)) (I already wrote like half of its total pages).
• Worst thing is that every time I cram in the mornings, I can feel that i enjoy studying. curse you [brutal game]! But it's also my fault...
• Ironic that now that the tests are over, i don't feel like PROCRASTINATING anymore.
Can you tell I had undiagnosed adhd?